Black Girls are Becoming

Source: TeePublic

These past few weeks have been pretty difficult for me, personally and academically. They were filled with a lot of sickness, loss, change, tears and pain. But I think the hardest part about the week was needing to take time off to deal with my mental and physical health and have people think I was just slacking off and being lazy in my work. One professor expressed the importance of professionalism and her disappointment in my lack of enthusiasm to be engaged in class. Many people know me as a hard-worker, go-getter and the person who shows up to and for everything, so to have someone believe I was being irresponsible was hurtful. And this is only my own example, but I am sure there are other Black women out there who have had to deal with the same ridicule from other people. It’s almost as if they are saying, “I knew it! I knew you weren’t perfect, and I knew you couldn’t handle it!”

A study done by Danice L. Brown and Daniel Segrist examined the influence of internalized racism on the career aspirations of African-Americans and found that participants who were faced with overwhelming amounts of racism and began to feel devalued and dismissed had lower career aspirations than those who were not exposed to the same levels of racism. When Black people are constantly bombarded with negative messages about the Black experience and lifestyle, they may begin to believe those things and act upon them. While some people give up and begin to live by those low standards, others work to dismantle the stereotypes and stigmas that create those ideas in the first place. Many people, especially Black women who have to also deal with the stigmas that come with being a woman, break those barriers by breaking glass ceilings and proving their worth through their work. Journalists at the Harvard Business Review wrote in their article “Interviews with 59 Black Females: Executives Explore Intersectional Invisibility and Strategies to Overcome It,” “Some women had to fight others’ low expectations of their skills and abilities in order to be granted the opportunity to prove themselves.”

But it can be difficult to balance the want to work hard so as not to be considered lazy or unmotivated with the need to take care of one’s mental and physical health. You want to work hard and prove to people that you are more than what they thought, but you also want to relax and have down time to just take care of yourself. So, my advice to you is to learn your limits and know when you need a break. Dr. Regina Luttrell quotes authors James Collins and Jerry Porras when she writes, “A truly visionary company embrace both ends of a continuum: continuity and change, conservation and progressiveness, stability and revolution, predictability and chaos, heritage and renewal, and fundamentals and craziness. And, and, and.” While I agree with Luttrell that this mantra can be successful for organizations, when it comes to the people who constantly have to make those ‘and’s happen, I believe there needs to be an ‘or,’ or even a ‘no.’ The human body is only built to endure so much. You cannot constantly work without rest, proper dieting and self-care and expect for everything to be okay. Sometimes, it’s okay to just say ‘”no” or “I can do this or this but not both.” Ever since I was a little girl, my parents have always said, “No is an anointed word.” Learn to say “no” and “or” to give yourself time to breathe. Just because you’re not working or on the go does not mean you are less than; it means you’re human.

Source: Joshua Hook

Stemming from my first piece of advice, my second piece of advice is to not be afraid to fail or even take a break. During a talk with students and faculty at Syracuse University during the Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration, Trevor Noah, host of Viacom’s "The Daily Show" and author of “Born a Crime,” said “I think, as human beings, failure is something that is terrifying to us because, innately, we tie failure to ridicule. You tie failure to your ability to succeed in the world, and I think for many people, failure is, at the end of the day, rejections.” As Black women, we are taught to do everything and be everything for everyone because otherwise, we’ll just be uneducated, loud Black women without any aspirations of being better. We feel like we have to do everything and shatter glass ceilings to prove ourselves and prove we deserve to just be. But let me just tell you: You don’t have to prove yourself. You don’t have to always be okay. And you don’t always have to put on a façade of perfection because YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Finally, know your own worth and understand the power you have within. My absolute favorite quote is, “The most common way people give up their power is by believing they don’t have any” by Alice Walker. No one can take away your power unless you allow them to, and no one can determine your worth except you. My mom called me a few weeks ago to simply tell me, “Your manager determines your wage not your worth. Your professors determine your grades not your worth.” The most powerful thing a Black woman can have is confidence in herself and knowledge of the fact that she is a force to be reckoned with.

Source: F3News

As an example of a young, Black woman who is educated and passionate about what she does I look to actor and activist Yara Shahidi. Shahidi began acting at the age of nine when she starred in Eddy Murphy’s movie "Imagine That." From that moment forward, Shahidi has brought with her to the stage her passion for acting, her drive to be the best she can possibly be and her dedication to helping other people. In 2018, at the age of 18, Shahidi organized and ran the #WeVoteNext Summit, a conference to educate and inspire young leaders from across the country to get involved in voting and use their voices to affect positive change. At such a young age, Shahidi has already accomplished so much, and it’s not that she didn’t have doubters or haters, but she believed in herself and knew her worth. Follow her example. Believe in yourself, trust your instincts, forget the naysayers and know your worth.

#BlackMentalHealth #KnowYourWorth #BlackGirlsRock #BlackProfessionals #NoApprovalNeeded